Ops manual for working with me

A dear friend and fellow member of the NonViolent Communication Community, Jesse, came to stay at Dhamma Gamil recently. It was indeed her Van "The Vandelorian" with whom I retreated with many of you in early Spring.

When I mentioned I was leaning into more collaboration, she recommended this exercise of writing an Ops Manual for working with me.

"Brilliant" I thought.

If we truly are stronger through diversity, then this practice enables our strengths to be harnesses explicitly.

"Verrry NVC" was my next thought, having suffered the turmoil of implied rules eg expecting my significant other will x, y and z, only to experience disappointment after disappointment when he does not respond in the way I would like.

Not to say this Ops Manual will pre-solve any problem before it takes hold,

but for sure, it could improve our problem-solving probability,

when we have pre-understanding of our differing approaches.

So, here it is, the seven things to know about me so we can better work together, and of course, I would love to hear your Ops Manual.

Feel free to share in the comments below.

Firstly, I'm wild. That's how I know safety.

I may need to stop everything to put my feet on the ground or to donkey kick randomly behind me

It’s also how I know what & how to eat and move

Yes, I'm better when I'm dancing...and until I can see a better reason otherwise, I'll pretty much be dancing...all of the time

You are also invited to be like this...free to move...wildly...as and when the moment takes you.

Secondly, I have an especially wide range of internal experience.

This means I can move from wild and primal in one moment to highly civilised in another

I consider this shape-shifting a gift, though I can see how it could be unnerving to the very steady-presenting of us

I can be a free-spirited hippie naked in the creek or don a power-suit n heels to rub shoulders with any geek

You also have permission to explore your range with Me.

Thirdly, my boundaries are are an extension of my self-connection. They are based on connection to my ancestral- and long-standing values as well as my moment-to-moment emerging needs. Having worked with trauma, I know how critical this self-connection is to being able to read our needs. Again, sometimes just sitting in nature is enough to reconnect to what I really need.

Fourthly, I relish flow and rhythm. My body clock syncs with those in my immediate Sphere.

I rely on my weekly rhythm, the rhythm of the seasons, and even the sun to attune with my own biorhythm and stay in touch.

I value sharing responsibility for time eg reminders are always welcome, and aware that while clocks never differ, our sense of time does. I enjoy the big-picture perspective of time eg a future vision, as it helps me relax, slow down and remember there are many influences contributing to fruition, not the least being a consistent value-set over time.

Fifthly I love to spend time tending to the Earth and have chosen deliberately to trust robots to attend to my bookkeeping.

That’s why I only operate on subscription model. This honours my life experience an integrated way of life not just my hourly service.

Sixthly, if you lie on the floor in my vicinity, it’s likely you’ll get a thorough “walking-over” massage Thai style (this is especially helpful to know if you'd love / need a massage but don't want to ask)

Seventhly, I consider my custodianship a deep privilege.

Dhamma Gamil is a place of Safety.

It is a place of learning and a place of worship.

It is my honour to extend a gentle invitation from her to you

Hope to hear from you soon, if collaboration is something you're also leaning into.