Sustainable Now: Because Ease is the Opposite of Disease

"From the moment we are born, we straddle two sets of contradicting needs: the need for security and the need for freedom. The fact is we need both. Because we desire the security of belonging—whether to a person, a job, or a community—and the freedom to explore other options, we often find ourselves acting out of our internal contradictions" - Esther Perel

In my last post 'When it's time to put the tools down' I mentioned the shift in my profession which has prompted me to hand over my practice in the next three years.

This follow up post is about our shared needs for self-hood and belonging, and how they contribute to a more sustainable existence.

When we die, we cannot take our houses, cars, our networks, our loved ones, even our own bodies with us… clearly we are more than these…despite what the comparison culture tells us. A strong sense of self is associated with increased ability to weather life’s ups and downs. Self hood is what distinguishes us…our inherent value…from our circumstances.

In my search for a stronger sense of self, I’ve come across differing viewpoints.

On the one hand, Carl Jung taught that to individuate is our sole goal. He taught that to self-actualise, the highest attainment for the human consciousness, is unequivocally to “Know thyself”.

On the other hand, Gabor Mate speaks of social cohesion as the key to health and wellness. 

”We must understand that health is not an individual outcome but arises from social cohesion, community ties and mutual support”.

I’ve experience first- and second-hand, the potency of each of these needs.  The need for individualisation, autonomy and agency is fundamental to the empowerment necessary to turn trauma into post traumatic growth ie "I am more than what happens to me"

The need for inclusion, belonging, collaboration and interdependence are fundamental to our need for contribution and self worth ie "I have unique gifts and talents which benefit those around me"

So, how do we know when we've gone too far either way?

Some of my hardest life lessons have occurred when I've fought hard for inclusivity. I can name three or four incidents in the past few years in which my commitment to "the cause" led to my own and others exclusion. A quick literature review reveals that experiences of social exclusion lead to lower sense of meaning for both the individual who is rejected, and the group who is forced to exclude someone. (Zhang, 2023)

I can speak from experience when I say that one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was to exclude an important member of the group when I had reached the limits of my personal and professional capacity.  It sits heavily with me still today, and I don’t expect it will get any lighter over time.

Exclusion taps one of our deepest fears that the tribe will leave us behind.  Research shows the experience of exclusion increases emotional dys-regulation and activation of the sub anterior cingulate cortex, increasing sensitivity to social exclusion over time. Inherently we know our chances of survival depend on group acceptance. Bizarrely, my fight for inclusivity was the very thing that led to painful rejection.

On the other hand, we all know people highly successful at social inclusion, reach a turning point to find they do not know themselves after all.   They've paid the price of selfhood for a stronger sense of belonging. The life built around pleasing and appeasing must inevitably crumble.

Clearly we need both strong sense of self WITHIN the experience of belonging. As Rosenberg taught, the needs co-exist and adapt across the lifespan. What a complex improvisation we dance in the meantime.

So, how can we use this knowledge to achieve a greater sense of wellbeing?  What is that quality which enables us to feel at home when we’re with tribe and also when visiting another?

I look to the work of 3 women across history for answers.

Montessori (1870-1952) believed that the human being is inherently wired for contribution.  She taught that to create the conditions for flourishing was our primary goal as parents and educators, and that this gift enabled the human to discover themselves without external intervention.

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 – 1962) demonstrated the power of policy in achieving data driven results.  Her work in human rights at the level of global governance, formed structures upon which women and children stand today.  

Dr Cathy Kezelman (present day) has summarised her extensive research in complex trauma into 5 powerful pillars for practitioners across fields to enculturate stronger sense of self.

I imagine a dance between the three of them would have been an exquisite knowledge-sharing, microbiome-smearing, neurological-mirroring catapulting the deception of duality into an ecstatic conception right then and there.

Which brings me to share my latest offering

Many of you will know that the community have shared over 14 retreats on sacred ground at Minjerribah-overlooking-Moorgumpin.  Well, having downed-tools to focus on sustainability the last couple of years, I’m pleased to announce a Convergence of Trauma-Informed Practitioners and Recipients over 5 warm-summer days this coming November.

Inspired by women before me who have led by enabling others to lead,

who have individuated by building structures of inclusivity,

who have stayed the course of their life’s work to the last breath

the convergence is a place for cross-pollination and implementation.

A few fundamental scaffolds in my work-life last year have enabled me to take-stock and truly honour my life’s-work.

One of them was The Burnout- & Trauma- Care Clinic which provided the weekly reflection, simplification, perspective and sensory-self-hood I’ve never had before. This kind of self-contact-improvisation has proven a self-sustainable format for resourcing communities with self-care.  Having built-in sustainability from the get-go, the Burnout- & Trauma- Care Clinic, which we've come to know as an Experience Lab, is now ready to run as Satellite Clinics in your local neighbourhood.

Another was opening to the wider communities of dance and non-violent communication.  The felt experiences of belonging again settling my own fears of social exclusion as my whole hormonal- & relational- selves transformed.

And the third, which is where you come in, is the model of sustainability around which the practice has oriented this last year.  Three components to this include 1. Wellness Memberships which highlight the whole-of-life influences rather than an hourly service (see Membership options) 2. Integrative Practice (see next IM clinic) which highlight the strengths-based approach to medicine, rather than the defensive or threatened and 3. The practice of Self-Seeing, which has been the hardest one of all (try it yourself at a the next Experience Lab)

I have a vision of a locum pop-up clinic which migrates down and back up the East Coast.  My own collaborations with senior psychologists over the last 5-years have demonstrated the potency of cross-pollination of psyche- soma- bodies of work, and this framework has merit to the sustainability of the health system far-beyond what we’ve yet seen.

If you’d like to be a part of this network – either as a practitioner or as a recipient - please linkin with me directly between now and November

The price listed on the website is the full-fee-paying price which accounts for Community Consultation, Project Management and Network Communications.  Opportunities to engage in this process will be available in the next 8-week lead up to the Convergence.

Included in this price is your Total Experience Lab Start-Up Pack (details on the website), which is for early-adopters in any field to start making an immediate income.

 A number of Scholarships are offered to those interested in volunteer roles within the community.  As an intimate venue, accommodation is capped at 20 so the convergence will not be marketed widely.

I am honoured and privileged to stand on this lineage of teachings at the interface of Somatics, Public Health and Integrative Medicine.

Come join the rising of the network in which you already stand. For the sustainability of our practices, for the benefit of our communities. It’s time to go beyond the institution of siloism and resulting burnout or insecurity. It's time we make it easier on ourselves, and easier for health consumers.

Please join me in a collaborative approach to sustainability, enculturating both self-hood and belonging.

See www.SomaSutra.Co for more details.

"Most people have no idea how good their bodies are designed to feel" Kookaburra calling from Minjerrubah-Moorgumpin down the East Coast to Gamilroi Country

I'm Alexis Dennehy, post-grad educated in trauma and women's health with over 25 years clinical experience in Integrative- & Somatically focused health care.